Sunday, March 18, 2012

In a funk...

I don't know what it is... just not feeling up to par at all lately.

Ever feel like you need to go on a life "detox"? Ever feel like all facebook is a bunch of opinions, brags, and snark? Ever feel like sometimes you're "too much" for some people yet "not enough" for others? Ever feel like you're not a good enough parent, spouse, friend or neighbor?

I really don't know how I've come to find myself in the situation I am right now. I feel like I need to DO something, I just don't know what that something is.

I'm the queen of distractions... I like it. Especially with the surprise adoption, losing Grant at 8 weeks, being away from home for those 8 weeks, the financial whammy that all lead to, and then home to put the pieces together. Only, I never got to put those pieces together, with 3 little boys we're just too busy. I was able to slide by the last 8 months, distractions helping me along the way. But I'm wondering if my "distractions" are taking over a part of myself. I need to focus, but I feel like for the last year I've been so out of focus, I'm not sure how to do it anymore. I need to focus on my family and myself... why is that proving to be so hard? Hence how easily it was for distractions to creep in and take over.

Plus, we know we're moving to D.C. this YEAR... just don't know when this year. I thought I was okay with it... but here it is only March of 2012 and the stress of not knowing WHEN and not being able to plan is just eating at me.

I can't really express how hard I'm finding things right now with 3 busy boys ages 5, 3, and 9 mths. I feel overwhelmed to say the least. I feel like no matter WHAT I do, no one is every happy.

Anyway, I did remove the FB app off my phone this morning. It was too accessible. I'm hoping if I limit it to only when I'm on the computer then perhaps that'll help take the edge off.

I just don't know. Ever feel any of these ways? What helps(ed) you?

1 comment:

bethany said...

Yes, often I feel like this. I get tired and overwelmed and have trouble balancing everything.I want to be a good wife, mother, teacher, friend, and person...its a lot of WORK! We are working on selling our house and buying a new one. Waiting and wondering "when." I plan everything! But I can't plan this.

You have gone through a life changing loss. And you have no way to just sit and think and hope and be in your own thoughts. What you are feeling is normal. Ever think about sharing these feelings with your doctor?? Might be able to help...

D.C!!! Whoo hoo! much closer!!

Love ya, bethany